A Dog's Life:  Paul Anka's Greatest Hits
by alertthecorgis
Summary: More from the Amazing Doggie Swami


Chapter 1: Lonely Boy

I'm just a lonely boy, lonely and blue  
I'm all alone with nothin' to do

Paul Anka was happy. Somebody was finally home. Everyone had been away for what seemed like forever. It had been okay being with The Chef, Veggie Man, and their children, but they were not Paul Anka's family, not his Mom, Dad, and children.

Where had they all gone? Oh yeah, _Cape Scrod_, that was the name of the place. There had been mass confusion preparing for the trip. Mom had been in charge of getting Buddy and Princess squared away while Dad was getting the boat ready. Fortunately, there was some help because Mini-Mom and the Earring Girl had come to town. Even Maxi-Mom and Big Tall Man had pitched in. The plan was that Dad and Earring Girl would take the boat and meet everyone else there.

Paul Anka thought he might go, too. After all, he had been on the boat before. He even had his own life preserver, a necessity because, while he could doggie paddle for a time, the ocean was just too big. The first time he had seen the vastness of the Atlantic, he observed, _Good thing Dad is so safety conscious. Although I am just as furry as they are, I'm not a Newfoundland with webbed paws. _

Unfortunately for Paul Anka, by the time the trip was scheduled, Mom and Dad could not find a rental property that was both big enough and allowed pets.

"Sorry," Mom sounded sincere when she apologized, "We'll do better the next time. I promise."

_Maybe it's just as well_, Paul Anka rationalized, _my hair would get matted with sand and I'm so fair that I'd get terribly sunburned_. _I'm better off at home._

Looking back at the time, he wasn't so sure. He was lonely despite the fact that The Chef's house was a whirlwind of activity. He missed his people and no amount of haute cuisine could deaden that feeling. _Helps though, _Paul Anka burped.

Then, Dad came home. Paul Anka was almost giddy with happiness. _The loneliness is over_, he exclaimed when Dad came to fetch him. Nevertheless, he realized something wasn't right the minute they got home. Like any good herding dog, he started a head count. _Wait a minute, _he said as he felt his forehead crinkle. _Where's Earring Girl? Where's Mini-Mom? Where's Mom? Where are Princess and Buddy?! I knew it. You leave me at home and something's happened to the flock. It's my fault for not being there!_

Paul Anka's once-paralyzing neuroses were in danger of staging a comeback, but Dad started to speak. "Sorry, Paul Anka. Just me. Duty calls. Yeah, it's just me and you for awhile."

Dad's words managed to defuse the panic attack. _Thank God_, Paul Anka breathed. _Everyone's safe at the sound_, he quipped. It was good to laugh again, if only for a moment.

The two temporary bachelors scanned the living room. Dad sighed. "Quiet, isn't it? I used to like quiet. Now, well, it just seems unnatural. Funny, huh." Then, Paul Anka sighed, too.

As Dad had returned because he was needed at the diner, they both spent most of their time there. Apartment-over-the-diner-quiet was not as eerie as house-without-the-whole-family-quiet. Still, they had to go home sometimes. Night was the worst, of course. After the nightly telephone call, it was just the two of them…all alone with nothin' to do.

Paul Anka could snooze or doggie-Zen, but even Paul Anka could only do this for so long. And Dad worked, but the diner had to close sometimes and Dad…well, he seemed at a loss as to what to do with himself in an almost empty house. "Could go fishing," he mentioned, "if had the time." So, he cleaned the already clean house, or took Paul Anka for the umpteenth walk of the day. Then, they sat in silence and twilight before going to sleep in the silence and dark.

_I don't know about you, Dad_, Paul Anka finally admitted one night, _but I am lonely and blue. Why don't you just call Mom and tell her we miss them and want everyone to get home already!_

As if on cue, Dad jumped up and got the phone. He punched in the numbers and paced. "Hey, Lorelai. I'm going nuts here. I miss you all. How many days before you come home?"

Her answer sounded funny. Maybe that was because there was suddenly commotion outside. As she continued her answer, the noise got more…_funky_. That's the word Paul Anka came up with.

He and Dad were so intent on trying to hear Mom's voice that they didn't realize what was happening. Mom's voice morphed from the tinny sound of a phone voice to the ringing sound of her live voice in a matter of seconds.

She burst through the front door with Buddy, Princess, Mini-Mom, and the Earring Girl with the shout, "Luuuuucy, we're home!"

If there had been commotion before, the arrival of the flock resulted in sheer pandemodium. There was hugging and kissing and, most importantly in Paul Anka's view, petting. Baggage was hauled in. There were presents, including gourmet doggie treats.

In the midst of all this craziness, Paul Anka sat reflecting on the scene. He wouldn't trade this for the world. And, from the look on Dad's face, Paul Anka was pretty sure his fellow lonely boy felt the same way.


End file.
